Crazy Krazy

There’s a section in the local Saturday newspaper in Uganda called, “Crazy Krazy.” I was reading through it today, and I thought I’d share a few of the more bizarre little stories with you ...

“Man pursues girl over perfume” - People in the Kampala Old Taxi Park recently watched in disbelief as a drunkard pursued a smartly dressed lady. As he followed her, he informed everyone who cared to listen: “I sat in the same taxi with her from Muyenga and her perfume had a good scent. Now I have to follow her to smell it more.” He further yelled that even if she alerted the police, he would not give up. The lady got out of his sight when she boarded another taxi.

“Thief replaces food with stones” - A family in Bwaise, a Kampala suburb, was forced to sleep hungry after a thief stole their food off a charcoal stove. The thief replaced the matooke, covered in banana leaves, with stones. After watching the 9:00pm news on TV, the father, Musoke, asked his wife to serve food since he had had a long day at work. He was in shock when his wife uncovered a hot, steaming saucepan full of stones. Musoke was so angry that he ordered his wife and children to go to bed. He then bought doughnuts, which he ate alone.

“Accident victim surrenders watch to retain hand” - Eyewitnesses were left dumbfounded on Masaka Road recently when a man carried an axe to the scene of an accident to cut off a victim’s hand in order to steal a watch he was wearing. He had tried to remove the watch but he failed because the victim would shout for help. He, however, never gave up. He threatened to use the axe he had carried to the scene. On seeing the axe, the victim pleaded that he take the watch and spare the hand. Quickly, the man dashed and started unstrapping the watch. But his luck ran out when one of the rescuers tipped off others who pounced on him and beat him up. He pleaded for forgiveness, saying he would never rob again.

“Mother smashes family TV” - A woman recently shattered a seven-inch black-and-white TV screen that her husband had bought, claiming that it was an embarrassment to the family. The husband had bought the TV after several demands from his wife. She was, however, not amused with the family’s latest gadget, claiming that their neighbors had better ones. She smashed the TV set and fled their home, vowing not to return until her husband bought a better TV.

... Those are just a few random stories that somehow make it into the Ugandan paper. That’s a very skewed version of life in Uganda, but a humorous glimpse nonetheless.